Elwine, you liar! I jumped off the front step a few times, but it just wasn't steep enough for that satisfying squishy death.
So I climbed up into a tower with an umbrella.
And landed in a tuba. With an internet connection. I think it's the National Marching Corps of Ithilien.
It's sort of dark in here, and there's regular blasts of air up my ass. I'm becoming slightly constipated.
So you see... it wasn't my fault. I just walked into that room, I had no idea that maid was standing at the window behind the door. And when I saw her hanging off that ledge, I quick tied up a rope of sheets for her to be rescued with.
So my knot tying sucks.
I tried damnit.
No one will clean my room now though.
The world is a dangerous place. But I, Erchirion Swanhelm Gamgee, am smarter than it.
*lights small fire to keep warm*
A supply of Ho-Hos, some nicked corn in a can, a fire in the Ho-Ho box to keep war....a fire up the drapes to keep war-....a fire up the wall to keep war-...a fire on the ceiling, uh.
You never saw me here. *darts*
Have my body back. But I have no idea where I am. The sign or the door says... *squints* Ummm... only Oompa Loompas past this point.
Watch this! *idles, fades away, pops back in* A ghost can die of boredom, but they just pop back. I've been amusing myself with this for days.
*stills, fades away, pops back*
I wonder if this generates any paperwork. Heh. I'm going to see how many times I can die of boredom in one day! *slows, fades out, pops back* Wee.
*haunts his mother for Mother's Day*
*gets stuck in some water pipes*
*haunts someone's toilet*
*overflows the john*
*haunts some wimpy looking daisies*